I love the headline in today's Richmond Times-Dispatch about Bush's top advisor, Karl Rove: "Rove skips GOP fundraiser in Fairfax." But I love the subheading even more: "Some say Bush aide could have tarnished Kilgore, who disagrees." And I love this line, "Neither Republican gubernatorial candidate Jerry W. Kilgore, who spoke at the fundraiser, nor event organizers offered any explanation for replacing Rove with Republican National Committee Chairman Ken Mehlman at the last minute." Come to think of it, I just love this entire story...gave me HUGE laugh as I read it -- Karl Rove "ducking" his appearance with Jerry "the Duck" Kilgore. Quack quack! Jerry Kilgore, of course, professes to have absolutely NO IDEA why Karl Rove -- under investigation and potential criminal charges for his possible role in leaking a covert CIA operative's name -- would not have shown up yesterday at the Republican "pep rally" breakfast in Tysons Corner. Yet Kilgore says he has known Karl Rove for "decades" (wait a minute, how old IS Jerry Kilgore? what, were these guys buds back at Gate City High School or something?) and, according to the Times-Dispatch, "[Kilgore] would have had no qualms about sharing the spotlight with Rove or embracing close aides to President Bush."
Oh really? You mean that Rove's last minute "scheduling conflict" had nothing to do with the potential felony against him, or the fact that "President Bush's job-approval rating has slipped below 40 percent nationwide, and it is only marginally better in Virginia," according to GMU Professor Mark Rozell? You mean it had nothing to do with Rozell's analysis -- shared by unnamed "other Republicans" -- that "[a]ssociating too closely with an administration facing unrest over war in Iraq, the sluggish response to Hurricane Katrina and the Supreme Court nomination of Harriet E. Miers could drag down Kilgore's numbers?"
Still, Jerry soldiers on, the ever-loyal Good Republican Soldier, saying that "I want to caution people not to read too much into this" and that "I just see Virginians not looking at national politics but really looking at the differences between the candidates in the race before them."
Interesting, so Jerry believes Virginians are idiots? That they don't follow national events? Or is he just desperately hoping that somehow, some way, the national Republican meltdown over Iraq, Katrina, Miers, etc. will not hurt him in the next 3 weeks? That's right, everybody, keep your heads in the sand and pay no attention to the national news for the next 23 days, because there's an election going on here in Virginia and it should be strictly focused on Virginia. Be vewy, vewy qwiet about Jerry Kilgore's close ties to the national Republican leadership of George W. Bush, Karl Rove, Tom DeLay, and the whole corrupt and incompetent crew...we're hunting "wabbits" (or is it "weasels?")! Just focus on what a great governor Jerry "the Duck" would make if he's elected here in Virginia.
Oh wait, forget that too. Instead, just attack someone! Yeah, Tim Kaine loves Adolf Hitler, nyah nyah nyah. And Kaine's mother probably wears army boots! And, oh yeah, don't forget, make sure you change the subject by attacking Bill Clinton, even though -- unilke George W. Bush -- HE was actually a successful president! That's right, under Bill Clinton we had 8 years of peace and prosperity, budget surpluses, lower crime and poverty rates, etc., etc., despite a vicious, concerted, relentless attempt by the hard right to destroy him. That's right, Jerry, you and your nice little "conservative" friends keep on trying to change the subject from KARL ROVE and HITLER by invoking the name of "CLINTON." See if that strategy works for you; is that what Scott "Black Hands" Howell is telling you to do?
And Jerry, don't forget to keep flapping those little duck wings of yours - just 23 days more, you can do it!