Tyler Durden: OK, any historic figure. Recently I was searching for a term to describe candidates who run against incumbents holding what are thought to be "safe" seats. You're pretty sure you're going to get beat up, but that doesn't mean you can't down swinging. The above "burger" analogy from Fight Club stuck -- although to emphasize the candidate should be an environmentalist, we went with garden burger.
So why is it important to have a burger candidate in every race?
George Allen. John Sweeney. Richard Pombo. All candidates thought to hold "safe" seats in 2006. All lost.
Burger candidates Jim Webb, Kristen Gillibrand, and Jerry McNerney all won races they were supposed to lose. Major infusions of national cash didn't come until the races had already narrowed.
Much like no boxing analyst saw that Mike Tyson had gotten fat and slow before his allegedly shocking loss to Buster Douglas, Allen, Sweeney, and Pombo all had major -- though not necessarily fatal -- flaws that the supposed experts overlooked.
Allen's self-inflicted wounds don't need to be repeated here. Sweeney couldn't even stick to the same cover story, never mind actually tell the truth, in scandals both personal and political. Pombo was also dogged by corruption charges and voters tired of his extremist anti-environment views.
You never know when voters are going to get fed up. Why did the voters of New York elect shrill, offensive, controversial Al D'Amato to the US Senate three times, then in 1998, despite polls showing D'Amato would be re-elected, suddenly choose Chuck Schumer to be their new senator? Exit polls voters simply said they'd had enough of the guy.
That's why having a candidate (even a burger candidate) in every race is critical -- because you never know. As former Red Sox manager Jimy Williams was fond of telling reporters after the Sox pulled off a surprising win, "That's why they play the games." Contests are rarely as neat and tidy as they look, though pundits know they get paid for boldly predicting certain outcome, not for delineating all the possibilities.
That's why I'm shocked so many races in Virginia go uncontested. I know Virginia is heavily gerrymandered. But no one will challenge Del. Dave Albo, a Republican representing a blue district?
It seems like Republicans can always come up with some Rick Santorum wannabe who'll run in a seemingly hopeless race, annoying the incumbent, hoping for a stumble, and even in defeat, making himself a more well-known, stronger for the next race.
So why won't a Democrat run in this and other races? You never know when you'll go from burger to Senator.
I am also reminded of a quote from Stangers with Candy:
"Dreams are a great thing, but y'know something, they take a lot of energy. But that's O.K. There's a job waiting for you down the block from your house that doesn't require a thought in your head or a hope in your heart. So come on down and work for the artificial flower factory. Why fight it? Okay? Thank you."
Or maybe it is just the malaise of suburbia and the crushing isolation that suburbanites feel that prevents them from leaving their homes. ;)