Letterman-Style Top 10 List for the Kaine Administration

By: Lowell
Published On: 12/4/2005 2:00:00 AM

I'm just one citizen of this state...er, Commonwealth.  Of course, I DO run a popular Democratic political blog that recently received the coveted, much-sought-after (translation:  kissing Ben's butt and linking to him helps!) "platinum" status on the Not Larry Sabato blog.  And for that I am deeply honored.  Really!!  Still, I'm just one person with opinions when it comes right down to it.  And, as the saying goes, "opinions are like assholes, everyone's got one!"  Well, blogger that I am, I have many.  Opinions, that is.  Not assholes.  Last time I checked.  Whoops, I mean.... oh forget it!

Anyway, I was thinkig that TIm Kaine hadn't received enough advice in recent weeks, and that he could really use some more.  I thought I'd oblige, since I know how lonely and bored Governor-elect Kaine (boy, I love saying that!) must be feeling these days:  nothing much to do, a sleepy December and all that.  Ha ha.  With that thought in mind, I decided to come up with a David Letterman-esque (is that a word? geez, I hope not!) "Top 10 list of Things Tim Kaine Needs to Do the Next Four Years."  If he wants to be a successful governor, of course.  Here they are.  Remember, this is a joke!

10)  Three words: Gay.  Marriage. Now.
9)  New slogan for the Kaine Administration: "Gridlock yesterday, gridlock today, gridlock forever!"
8)  Environmental policy: "Chesapeake Bay?  We don't need no stinkin' Chesapeake Bay!"
7) Par-tay time on Virginia's death row!
6) New state motto: "Virginia is for...Illegal Immigrants!"
5) Second choice for new state motto: "Virginia is for (same sex) Lovers!"
4) Remember what Tim Kaine  said during the campaign about "no new gun laws."  You believed that?  Suckers!
3) Best way to spend Virginia' budget surplus?  What budget surplus?  We need to RAISE TAXES!
2) Fiscal policy? Spend, spend, and spend some more!  Spend like a drunken sailor on shore leave!
1) Keep the promises you made during your campaign.  Or not.  Ah, screw it, forget about promises; I'm sure the voters already have!  In other words, now that you're governor, do whatever the hell you want to do, and don't forget to par-TAY!

Cool, so now we have an agenda for Tim Kaine's next four years.  I look forward to discussing these in person with him.  Over a few beers, of course.  Par-TAY!

Comments



Don't count out Guns (DanG - 4/4/2006 11:27:47 PM)
Don't count out Guns, God, and Gays yet, people.  If Kaine had come out and said "Plenty of new gun laws", or said "all the gays are getting married", or...well, you get the idea.  Republicans are the ultimate spin-doctors, and never underestimate that.  If we let them, they'll find a way back to it.  The reason we won in Virginia wasn't because people are now saying yes to gun control and gays, it's because we shifted focus to the economy.  Let's keep the focus there.


Ha, and here I thoug (Lowell - 4/4/2006 11:27:47 PM)
Ha, and here I thought it was the DEMOCRATS who needed to move beyond guns, God and gays!! :)


hahah, good one Lowe (Ben - 4/4/2006 11:27:47 PM)
hahah, good one Lowell


Sam: Nah, wrong dru (Lowell - 4/4/2006 11:27:47 PM)
Sam:  Nah, wrong drug!! :)
Matt:  Does that mean you like #10 and #6?


Quick! Somebody giv (Sam Penney - 4/4/2006 11:27:47 PM)
Quick!  Somebody give Lowell his Ritalin!

;-)



That story is a year (Mark T. Blair - 4/4/2006 11:27:48 PM)
That story is a year old, but the same 100,000 figure was mentioned yesterday in the Washington Post in ultra-fine print in the graphic accompanying the article on the Marines killed in Fallujah.  The graphic isn't included in the online version, unfortunately.


It may be worse than (Mark T. Blair - 4/4/2006 11:27:48 PM)
It may be worse than that.  Check out this story from CNN.

http://www.cnn.com/2004/WORLD/meast/10/29/iraq.deaths/