This looks like a job forGǪRaising Kaine! ItGÇÖs time to offer our services, free of charge as a public service, to try to help figure out what our friend George really got arrested for. So, here are a few options GÇô choose your favorite, add your own, or mix and match.
Did George Allen receive an arrest warrant for:
- Impersonating a cowboy?
- Knocking off a liquor store?
- Burning a cross on someoneGÇÖs lawn?
- Assaulting a cocktail waitress? (Oops GÇô wrong Republican!)
- Snorting coke?
- Cow tipping?
- Putting a deer head in somebodyGÇÖs mailbox?
- Grand theft auto?
- Choking his girlfriend? (Oops GÇô wrong Republican again!)
- Streaking?
- Mooning schoolchildren?
- Participating in the Watergate break-in?
- Dragging his sister by the hair?
- Burglary?
- Harassing teenage boys? (Damn GÇô wrong Republican AGAIN!)
- Drag racing?
- Waterboarding U-Va. freshmen?
- Smoking the evil weed?
- Assaulting a nun?
- Robbing a bank?
- Spitting excessive tobacco juice in public?
Who really knows? The truth is out there GÇô weGÇÖve just got to find it!