A fundraising letter from Kate Obenshain Griffin, Chairman of the Virginia Republican Party, is always good for a barrel o' laffs. And today's is certainly highly entertaining -- that is, if you think that Big Lies are really, really funny. To begin with, here's a doozy:
The National Democrats have continued their lurch to the far left by choosing Howard Dean as their Chairman, George Soros as their billionaire benefactor, Michael Moore as their documentary film maker and Tim Kaine as their Virginia gubernatorial candidate.
A few points. First, the "National Democrats," whoever they are and whatever that means, are categorically NOT lurching to the far left. In fact, an article in today's New York Times talks about how Hillary Clinton is doing the EXACT OPPOSITE. For instance, the article talks about Sen. Clinton's "robust stand on national defense and her desire to reduce the number of abortions," her "[standing] fast in defense of her vote authorizing President Bush to go to war in Iraq," and her stance "adamantly against illegal immigration." OK, now, Hillary Clinton's about as "national Democratic" as you can get, and that sure doesn't sound like a "lurch to the left" to me. So pardon my language, but what the bloody hell are you talking about, Mrs. Griffin?
Second, as we've discussed many times, Howard Dean governed Vermont as a balanced budget moderate who won an "A" rating from the NRA and praise from the libertarian CATO Institute. Yep, that's the "far left" again, no question. Ha ha. Nice try, Kate.
Third, the "National Democrats" (whoever they are) did not "choose" George Soros or Michael Moore for anything. Last time I checked, those two guys were free to give money to or make movies about whoever and whatever they want. That's what happens in a free country, I do believe.
While we're on the subject, the "National Democrats" (whoever they are) didn't "choose" Tim Kaine as "their Virginia gubernatorial candidate." My understanding, and please correct me if I'm wrong, is that Tim Kaine was elected as Lt. Governor four years ago by the voters of Virginia. Now, not surprisingly (after four wildly successful years working with Mark Warner), he is running for governor. Well isn't that shocking?
True, the DNC under Terry McAuliffe gave Tim Kaine money. OK, fine, I'll tell you what, Kate, when the "National Republicans" stop picking the Virginia Republican nominee for governor and stop funneling him large sums of money, maybe we can talk about this accusation of yours. Until then, here's a suggestion: ZIP IT!
Just one more paragraph, and a bunch more lies, and then we'll call it quits on this laff-a-minute letter:
Republicans believe in quality jobs, family values and lower taxes. Jerry Kilgore and our Republican candidates across the state will fight for us. Tim Kaine will not.
Regarding those "quality jobs," does that include serving as a well-heeled executive at the Reciprocal Group, the "Enron of the Insurance Industry," as Republican Lt. Governor nominee Bill Bolling did (but can't quite recall)? Or perhaps Kate Griffin is referring to all the jobs being outsourced overseas under the economic policies of George W. Bush and Tom DeLay? Or is she talking about the whopping 223,000 jobs that Bush created between January 2001 and June 2005 (Bill Clinton created more than that every single month from 1993 to 2000)? Or maybe the 2.8 million manufacturing jobs lost in that time period?
You see, facts are a stubborn thing, no matter how Republican party hacks try to spin them. Republicans do seem to like this type of stuff, however. Which means, of course, that if you enjoy this GOP brand of "humor," you're in luck. Because, over the next few months, you're likely to be inundated with so much nonsensical but hilarious ranting from the Kilgore/Bolling/McDonnell team that you're apt to bust a gut. So brace yourselves, Virginians, because the best, funniest, most knee-slappingly silly installments of "lies, damn lies, and Republicans" are yet to come.