Isn?t the human brain wonderful? We homo sapiens sapiens managed to extract the abstract concept of NUMBER out of counting 1,2,3,4 -- antelopes, people, stones. We also were able to recognize ?4" as distinct from the items counted. Given all this, we could then set a goal: I want to acquire ?4' of...whatever,? where even the ?whatever? could be an abstract concept. Wonderful!Here's an example; we'll call it "Problem A." Let's say I want 4 of whatever. We can get there with 2+2=4, or 1+3, or even 4+0. The neat thing is that they all equal 4...aren?t numbers great? For the purposes of this exercise, we?ll do it 2+2=4. I?ll chip in 2 and we?ll get the local suppliers to provide the other 2. And anybody who says we should do it 4+0=4 is a darned nuisance, a disloyal jackass, and he?s fired! You know, I?ve got a really muscular 2 here, so we not only don?t need to provide 2, we can get away with 1.5+2=3.5... close enough for government work, and if we dress it up fast and fancy, no one will notice the difference.
Things are going well, except that the guys on the other side of the + sign are not carrying their own weight; their 2 is an anemic 1.25, so it?s 1.5+1.25=2.75... nowhere near 4. We?ll draw some numbers from the other side of the equal sign, reduce 4 to, say, 3.75, or... nuts, we already reduced it to 3 .5, and I refuse to change it! And what?s this? Someone is inserting some foreign MINUS numbers, darn it! It?s deteriorating to (1.5-.125)+(1.25-.75)=2.125, and trending down. Stop running those numbers, you unpatriotic buggers! If we just stay the course and try harder to jigger the numbers, it?ll be all right in Iraq...er, I mean, er..."Problem A." Besides, I want to get on to solving Problem B the same way; you know, Social Security, and then Medicare, then the trade deficit, then....
Isn?t the Bush-type Republican brain wonderful?
Of course, we Virginians are SO lucky, we have our very own Bush-type Republican brain right here -- Jerry Kilgore. For example, Kilgore's "Transportation Solution" is "Problem A" to a "T," foisting final results, responsibilities and costs off on the locals. Just like most of his Republican-brain ?solutions,? of course, it doesn?t add up. See Jerry's platform: improve schools, reduce crime, build roads, and borrow the money so as not to raise taxes (our grandkids can pay it back?). Under Jerry's costly and irresponsible Government by Devolution, Northern Virginia would be better off going ahead and seceding than trying to solve "Problem A."
Better yet, we could all just vote Democratic. That way, we can simultaneously solve "Problem A," make the figures add up, and free ourselves from Republican "higher math" once and for all.