Some days, you've just got to feel sorry for the Republican Party of Virginia (RPV). Today, for instance, I received an e-mail from the RPV entitled "The GOP is Ready to Rumble." Yes, "rumble," as in the dictionary definition: "to engage in a gang fight." So, here we have three guys -- Kilgore, Bolling, and McDonnell -- lined up "shoulder to shoulder, wearing dark suits and broad smiles," kicking off their "150-day war of words" (also known as a political campaign) with brass knuckles and switchblades. No positive vision for these guys, nosiree Bob! Instead, we have RPV Chairman Kate Obenshain Griffin calling Tim Kaine a "flip-flopping liberal extremist." Lovely.
There are only two problems, here, Ms. Griffin. First, it's impossible for Tim Kaine to be BOTH an extremist AND a flip flopper at the same time. Nice try, but if he's a flip flopper, that means he keeps changing his positions on the issues. Unfortunately for your argument, that's the exact opposite of an "extremist," almost by definition. Please make up your mind and choose one of the two. Unless, of course, it is you who are really the "flip flopper," going back and forth between attack strategies on Tim Kaine. Well, I guess that's what happens when you've got Scott Howell around, you just throw as much mud as possible and hope some of it sticks.
Second, as much as proud progressives like myself would love it to be the case, Tim Kaine is definitely not a liberal. Unless Kate Griffin, Ken Mehlman and friends are seriously trying to tell me that a pro-gun, pro-business, anti-abortion, anti-gay-marriage, tax-rate-cutting Democrat is a liberal, that is. If so, I guess we have to redefine the word "liberal" for the 21st century or something, because that sounds pretty darned conservative to me.
As far as Leslie Byrne is concerned, there's no doubt that she's a mainstream progressive Democrat. That means that Byrne favors education, health care, workers rights and the environment. My God, the horror, the horror! We here in Virginia definitely wouldn't want any of that, now would we? Of course not!
No, much better to have someone, like Bill "Gutter" Bolling, who worked at the ?Enron of the insurance industry,? for 21 years but can't seem to remember any of it. To help him jog his memory, I'll remind him that his company went belly up in 2003 with $770 million in unpaid claims, in a bankruptcy that "financially devastated thousands of doctors and lawyers as well as many hospitals across the country that relied on it for their malpractice insurance.? Now that's the kind of leader we want here in Virgina, someone who will truly look out for people like us!
Or, someone like Bob McDonnell, who is obsessed with sodomy but can't remember if he ever engaged in it. Or Jerry Kilgore, who is so proud of his ideas and vision for Virginia that he avoids debating them at all costs.
I'll tell you, this campaign looks like it's going to be bloody, nasty, dirty, and below-the-belt. And that's on a good day! But, at least it will be edifying, as the three right-wing extremists -- Kilgore, Bolling and McDonnell -- display their true colors for all of Virginia to behold. Nothing to offer Virginia but a "rumble." How inspiring.