Miss Fitt, no relation to Miss Manners, has graciously agreed to provide her famous advice exclusively for us here at the RaisingKaine blog. And, unlike some advice givers out there who aren't even doctors or psychologists (e.g., "Dr. Laura"), Miss Fitt has an advanced degree in the cutting edge, interdisciplinary field of Poli Sci-chology. As many of you know, Poli Sci-chologists specialize in analyzing right-wing ideology, strategy, and tactics, while probing the dark, psycho-sexual, Freudian impulses that drive their strange behavior. Which makes her perfect for our site, as I'm sure you'll agree. Anyway, if you have a question for Miss Fitt on matters polisci-chological, please send it to missfitt@raisingkaine.com. Hey, we've already received our first letter (see below)! Thanks. -- The Editors
Dear Miss Fitt,
I?m trying to be a good citizen and educate myself on all the candidates and issues for the upcoming election, but I?m having some trouble working my way through the Republicans, who seem to be stuck in rants mainly about TAXes, but some of them also worry an awful lot about SEX and there are more who can?t get their minds off GOD, or their version of GOD, anyway. Is it my imagination, or don?t the Republicans have anything more to worry about than these three-letter words? What kind of political concepts are these?
(Signed) Puzzled in Portsmouth
Dear P.P.,
Your puzzlement is quite understandable. Republicans have ?tri-cepts? rather than ?con-cepts,? and they can?t get beyond three letter words. Their limited horizons do, however, include more than just Tax, Sex, and God... look further, especially at the national level, and you find War and Gun and Lie (but never Love, Work, or Help, and P-e-a-c-e is way beyond them). All these little three-letter words are simplistic hot buttons that are easily turned into code words so they can tell voters how to think... or not think. This is due to the unfortunate fact that the key Adult Historical Trigger Lobe in their otherwise normal front brain stopped growing in early adolescence and atrophied. This sad pathology leaves them basically stuck in the 15th century, although a few did make it to the 19th century before stalling out.
Since your Adult Lobe obviously did not atrophy, it indicates that you are a thinking voter and therefore need not even try to fathom Republican adolescent rhetoric. Just vote Democratic and you?ll be okay. Good luck to you, and...
Forward March,
Miss Fitt