Funniest Live Blog Ever!

By: Lowell
Published On: 7/5/2006 8:52:02 PM

For those of you who don't know, Glenda G. "Gail" ("for Rail") Parker is running as an "Independent Green" (whatever THAT is) for US Senate from Virginia this year.  This evening, Gail "for Rail" live blogged at Craig's Musings, and the results were (unintentionally) hilarious.  For one thing, her answer to almost all questions was the same: RAIL!!!  My favorite (non) answer by Mrs. "Gail for Rail":

I am in this race because we need more candidates on the ballot to advocate for Rail. We need rail. We need More Trains and Less Traffic. Greg. We have lost 2530 of our finest men and women in Iraq, but every year 40,000 Americans are killed on our roadway. Rail is safer. We need alternatives ways to move people and goods.

Iraq is bad, but American roadways are worse?  And the answer to it all is Rail?  Hmmm....

My second favorite (non) answer by Gail "for Rail:"

On marriage: I will vote on that issue along with the rest of the voters in Virginia on November 7th. I have strong family values and I will abide by the decision of the voters in Virginia.

Huh?  You will "abide by the decision of the voters of Virginia?"  What on earth does that mean in the case of gay marriage?  You won't have one?  You WILL have one?  You will personally stop someone else from having one?  Or not?

Well, at least RAIL!! wasn't part of that bizarre response.

By the way, does Mrs. "for Rail" know that her website doesnt' work at all in Firefox?  And that it's not so hot in Internet Explorer either?  Lucky for her, all these problems can be solved with RAIL!!  Ha. :)

P.S.  For the record, I think rail is neat.  I've loved trains ever since I was a kid and had a model railroad set in my parents' basement.  However, I never thought that rail was the answer to every problem, including the minimum wage and Iraq!


Comments



A couple things, sweetheart... (phriendlyjaime - 7/5/2006 9:07:47 PM)
First of all, please put a disclaimer before the diary starts next time you plan on being downright hilarious.

I am in this race because we need more candidates on the ballot to advocate for Rail. We need rail. We need More Trains and Less Traffic. Greg. We have lost 2530 of our finest men and women in Iraq, but every year 40,000 Americans are killed on our roadway. Rail is safer. We need alternatives ways to move people and goods.

Now I have to wipe beer off of the keyboard.  AND IT'S GOOD BEER, DAMMIT.  ;)

Second-this woman is batshit crazy.  What the hell is she talking aout? Lady-if I wanted to elect a sheep who decided what to do after other people told her (her "stance" on the marriage amendment), I would be a registered Republican.  C'mon, now...

Lastly, this whole RAIL thing makes me think of lots of other things...like the Simpsons MONORAIL episode, and the musical the Music Man with the chugga chug chugga chug opening, and lastly...that she may be a huge fan of the cocaine.  I'M NOT SAYING SHE IS...I'm just saying...it makes you wonder.



Jaime, can you tell us how you REALLY feel? (Lowell - 7/5/2006 10:12:26 PM)
Why are you always holding back all the time?  LOL


It was amazing (Vivian J. Paige - 7/5/2006 9:26:19 PM)
That was an amazing live blog. I participated because I don't want to discourage anybody who wants to run for office but... the answer to everything is RAIL?

Of course, my favorite answer:

Vivian, Jonathan: Glad to know you both are still there.

And her site doesn't work in Mozilla, either.



Yeah, that one had me snorting milk out my nose (Lowell - 7/5/2006 10:11:53 PM)
:)


Rail is DEAD (Jambon - 7/5/2006 9:30:50 PM)
Hey Gail,

Hate to break it to ya, but trains are yesterdays news.

That's why MY campaign is all about the transportation of the FUTURE...


Jambon on his "Virginia is Segway Country" tour

This campaign is all about Segways folks.  And don't you forget it!

 



Ouch (cvitter - 7/5/2006 9:55:16 PM)
Yes, rail is the answer to everything, wait... no the answer to everything is actually 42. Sorry, I got confused for a second there...

Yes, Mrs. Parker definitely wanted to stay on the message of fixing transportation via rail. I still appreciate her willingness to give live blogging a try and I definitely appreciate everyone who came out and asked questions this evening.



And the solution to the national debt is... (Loudoun County Dem - 7/5/2006 10:31:39 PM)
...we deposit 1 cent and then time travel to the end of the universe to collect the interest.

So Long, and Thanks For All The Fish.



Cheeky mouse (DanG - 7/6/2006 2:53:30 PM)
I appreciate Gail's effort to mobilize Virginia by rail, but there's a far more important issue:

Making sure all Virginians have there towel with them at all times.



good point (Jambon - 7/5/2006 10:24:46 PM)
in all seriousness, mass transit is a very important issue.  It's just strange to see someone making their entire SENATE race out of it.

lastly, I don't think any of us Webb supporters should be knocking anyone elses websites right now. 

Please tell me I'm not the only one who thinks the www.webbforsenate.com site is absolutely atrocious!



Not atrocious (phriendlyjaime - 7/5/2006 10:27:33 PM)
but not phenomenal.

If that helps.  :)



fair enough... (Jambon - 7/5/2006 10:34:02 PM)
by most standards I'd say you're correct. 

but for a Senate campaign I think it's pretty darn bad.  especially one that's driven by the Netroots...



Rail is part of the answer, but only part (snolan - 7/6/2006 8:09:36 AM)
It's funny, but in some ways I agree with the whacky Ms. Parker...  Rail does have to be part of the answer.  I completely disagree with those who claim rail is 20th century and should be left behind.  Modern rail is absolutely key for connecting large densely populated areas with each other.  It needs to be used in conjunction with bus rapid transit, human powered travel (walking, cycling), airports, ferries, public buses, and even privately owned cars/trucks.  Any solution that does not allow for ALL of those methods to work well together is doomed to failure.

One of the things that works well in Europe and Japan is that it is easy/convenient to change modes of transportation several times in one journey.

Trucks and cars in the rural areas, with parking as you switch to rail for town to town travel, with covered walk-ways to huge bicycle parking for small town trips from the train station to the office.  Stores conveniently arranged for pedestrians near the train stations and bike parking areas.

It is a bit odd though that Parker can't talk about anything except Rail.  There are so many other problems.



But first, the mindset must change (deebat - 7/6/2006 9:57:34 AM)
Building the infrastructure, whatever it is -- rail, fast buses, or beam-me-up-Scotty transporters -- is a good step, but people need to get out of the mindset that insists the car is the best way to travel. People love their cars, even though they're inefficient, harmful to the environment and a host of other unpleasant adjectives.

For an example of a healthy urban transportation situation, check out Portland, Oregon. Light rail brings people in from the suburbs; FREE streetcars carry people around the center city; and bike lanes, beautiful bike lanes, are literally everywhere. Portland is one community that has made changing the mindset a priority...is it possible in Virginia? (I don't know; I'm new here...)



Portland (snolan - 7/6/2006 5:02:08 PM)
I keep hearing more and more wonderful things about Portland, I really need to get out there for a visit.  Sounds like we can use some of their excellent ideas.


Portland's a great city. (Lowell - 7/6/2006 5:34:27 PM)
My wife and I were out there a few years ago and had a great time.  (We also visited Seattle, Victoria, and Vancouver, plus Mt. Saint Helens, Mt. Rainier, Olympia National Park, the Oregon coast, etc.).


Damnit! (The Ditzy Democrats - 7/5/2006 10:36:43 PM)
See, we were thinking that maybe, to be fair, we should do a mock interview with Mrs. Parker, because we did one with Webb and Miller, and one with Allen.

I can't top that. I just can't.



Emerging Solutions (seveneasypeaces - 7/5/2006 11:22:20 PM)
Rail is 20th Century.  Rapid Bus Transit is 21st.  Google it.  There are some very successful systems worldwide.  Rail is too permanent and expensive.  RBT is flexible and won't require tearing down people's homes or businesses. 

Gail is right, we need to do something but it isn't rail in a crowded area.  Europe's train are a great success but they were built long ago.  We designed our cities so we could live far away from them.  There are some very bright people working on these problems and they recognize the versatility of RBT.  People will have to get over their prejudices and enjoy the nice ride.

I saw a diagram once of 66.  40 cars, and then 10 cars for carpools and then one bus to exemplify what a difference using a bus can be for carrying 40 people.  It used toy cars and bus and was impressive.

MTC -- Library -- Transportation Blueprint for the 21st Century Rapid Bus Transit (RBT) is an emerging transportation concept which is gaining in popularity throughout the world. RBT ties the speed and reliability of a ...

www.mtc.ca.gov/library/blueprint/bp_rapidbus.htm



Actually, (summercat - 7/6/2006 5:34:33 AM)
I would love to see a fast train between tidewater and Richmond and DC--and one as a commuter train between Peninsula and Southside.  I met Gail when she was getting sigs in Newport News--I thought maybe Allen was bankrolling her as someone who would peel off votes from the Democrats.  She might get 2-3%, which could be very significant, believe it or not, in a close race.
And maybe Jim Webb could dwell a bit on the need for better public transportation, as an offset to what Gail is doing??  jmho


bigger solutions (seveneasypeaces - 7/6/2006 10:46:37 AM)
If Gail is wanting rail in the more rural parts of the state that is great.  I would love to take a train.  I was thinking egocentrically.  Rail to Dulles, Rail to Dulles, Rail to Dulles spins in my head.  Thanks for reminding me to think bigger!


Is there an award for this? (cvitter - 7/6/2006 9:05:56 AM)
Lowell, I forgot to ask last night. If there is you should make up a graphic so I can add it to my site. I would wear the badge with honor.


Not a bad idea... (Lowell - 7/6/2006 5:35:17 PM)
anyone handy with PhotoShop?