In the never-ending world of medical research, we now get word that those ever-curious scientists have discovered "the chemical equivalent of the perfect sales pitch: a hormone that makes us more trusting than we normally are." It's called oxycotin, and apparently if you inhale it, you're more likely to entrust others, even with large sums of your own money, than you would have been without the hormone. Wow, just think of the implications! Israelis and Palestinians, car salesmen and customers, cats and dogs, lions and lambs, doctors and patients, Republicans and Democrats, men and women -- all living in peace, harmony, and mutual trust because of a hormone spray by are friends in the pharmaceutical industry.
The Washingoton Post article on the subject quotes "neurologist Antonio R. Damasio of the University of Iowa, who has long studied the neurobiology of human emotions and who wrote a commentary accompanying the study," alluding to the prospect that "political operators will generously spray the crowd with oxytocin at rallies of their candidates." Ha! A new trick in Scott Howell's playbook! Of course, Damasio adds that he is "more alarmed about the manipulations of marketing than the possibility of oxytocin sprays." Well, now, isn't that a relief?
One has to wonder if some of this oxytocin might not have been snuck in surreptiously past security into the US Senate a week ago. Just imagine, one minute we're heading for "nuclear" armageddon over judges, the next minute -- spray, spray -- it's all love and kisses among reasonable Senate moderates, who cited "Honor, trust, and respect for the Senate and the Constitution" in reaching their last-minute compromise deal.
Could it have been that everyone just naturally came to their senses at the last minute? Or could it have been something more sinister, a secret spritz of oxytocin on Senator Warner, Byrd, et al? Possibly by a dastardly liberal judge snuck into the Senate chamber to make legislation, not just interpret the law? Hey, you never know with this oxytocin stuff around.
All I can say is, watch for any nerdy looking men in white coats holding spray bottles as you walk into your polling place on June 14. If you see them, walk by really fast and hold your breath. If not, it could be "spray spray" and next thing you know, you'll be voting for Jerry Kilgore, Bob McDonnell, Bill Bolling or god-knows-who!