Do right-wing nutjobs know who they're getting in Jerry Kilgore? I mean, it's bad enough that Jerry has refused to sign the Americans for Tax Reform (ATR) pledge against raising taxes. But now, your intrepid RaisingKaine reporters have dug up an even more disturbing bit of evidence against Mr. Kilgore's hard-right, conservative credentials. That's right, in a November 2003 interview, Jerry Kilgore admitted that his favorite cartoon is Spongebob Square Pants. Yeah, we're talking about THAT SpongeBob SquarePants, you know, the same one that two conservative Christian groups attacked for allegedly being part of a "pro-homosexual video."
Well, you ask, that's very funny and all, but what does this MEAN about Jerry Kilgore? Why are you digging up revelations like this, when we all know that Kill-more is a tough-on-crime, uber-masculine, arch-conservative hard-ass? Are you snarky little liberals at RaisingKaine trying to imply that, perhaps, Jerry is more like one of Ah-nuld Schwarzenegger's "girlie-men" or something?
I mean, just because Jerry is one of the most effeminate sounding "tough guys" you'll ever hear in your life doesn't mean squat. Nor does the fact that SpongeBob SquarePants, that infamous "gay lifestyle"-promoting liberal icon, is his favorite cartoon character. Nor does the fact that Jerry dreams of Keanu Reeves playing him in the movie version of his life mean anything. Anything at all.
Yeah, we know we're reaching here, but could it just be that Jerry Kilgore isn't the perfect crime-fightin', tax-cuttin', gay bashin', immigrant-slammin' right-wing ideologue he makes himself out to be? Just askin'...
Disclaimer and pre-emptive apology: RaisingKaine does not condone homophobia in any way, shape or form. Furthermore, we see nothing wrong with being a "girly-man," that is, if one happens to have chosen to live a "girly-man" lifestyle. It's just that, being the ultra-sensitive liberals many of us are, we worry that Jerry Kilgore -- with his taste in SpongeBob SquarePants (and Keanu Reeves) now fully exposed -- might not fit in very well among...uh...certain "elements" of certain political parties. Hint hint, wink wink, nudge nudge. We're sorry for mentioning any of this, Jerry. We really are!