In Virginia Beach, political sign-stealing is rampant. Of course, it only makes big news if a Republican sign is stolen, according to the Virginian-Pilot. It also helps if the victim is Doug McCain. (He's John McCain's son, by his seldom talked-about first wife, Carol.)
Now it seems our staid, usually Republican neighborhood has become hazardous habitat for Obama-Biden signs. Funny, but the McCain/Drake/Gilmore signs seem to stay around. In fact, I asked one neighbor with Republican signs in his yard if he had experienced sign theft, and he begged me to steal his Gilmore sign! Seriously, though, one of our neighbors has lost two Obama signs, another neighbor has lost three, and we've lost one. Democratic signs along our roads last at most one or two days, while nearby Republican signs are unmolested.
So, we may be down to hand-lettered yard signs by Election Day. To make these signs attractive, we've come up with some new slogans for the sign-stealing season:
Since sign stealing is a misdemeanor:
Crime Victims for Obama
You Can Steal This Sign, But You Can't Steal My Vote
Insert Obama Yard Sign Here
WANTED: Obama/Biden Sign
Steal My Sign?That's Fine.
Early Vote? Just cast mine
It's Obama Time
Burma Shave
You Can Have My Sign. I Want My Country Back.
G. Gordon Liddy the Plumber Stole My Obama Sign
Can We Have Our Sign Back? We'll Need it For the Reelection Campaign!
Then there are hand-lettered yard signs we just can't display, no matter how tempting it is to get bitter or sarcastic. Barack has asked us to stay positive, so these are signs you won't see:
Stealing My Sign Changed My Mind. McCain/Palin
McCarthyites for McCain
Get Off My Lawn! John McCain.
Sign Stealers for McCain/Palin
Were You Wearing Your Brown Shirt When You Stole My Sign?
I Support Joe the Sign Thief
Sign Thieves Will Be Waterboarded
One Wife; One House; One Car: That One! Obama
You Can Have My Sign. I Want My Country Back.
In my neighborhood, we take our signs in at night.