Top 10 List for Samuel Alito

By: Dan
Published On: 1/26/2006 2:00:00 AM

Here's my top-10 list of things that Samuel Alito is looking forward to when he is confirmed as a Supreme Court justice.

10) Duck hunting with Cheney and Scalia
9) Telephoning people who called him a "geek" in high school and telling them they are no longer considered U.S. citizens
8) Attending secret cabinet meetings in the White House (they serve the best hors d'oeuvres!)
7) Giving constitutional lectures at Bob Jones University
6) Making Democrats pay for forcing his wife to cry at his confirmation hearing
5) Finally being able to buy his own machine gun
4) Making Congress into the utterly insignificant body it should be
3) Re-interpreting his past decisions based on exactly how George W. Bush wants him to rule
2) Outlawing blogs that used the term "Scalito"
1) Overturning Roe v. Wade, thus getting revenge on the women of America, especially those who refused to date him in college. 


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