'Twas the night before primaries, and all through the land
No candidate was stirring, or shaking a hand.
The RK editors were posting where all could see,
In hopes that Virginia would be Obama country.
The voters were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions from TV ads danced in their heads.I here in Williamsburg, and my friends in Wise,
Tried hard to block out the sound bites and lies.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave luster to yard signs posted below.When what should appear to my wondering eye?
A van with the bumper strip, "Live Free or Die."
With a little old driver, so old and so plain
I knew in a moment it must be McCain.
But when I saw the sign saying "Peace to you all"
I imagined Kucinich, Gravel, or even Saint Paul.Like eagles, the reporters following him came.
He whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!
"Now Russert! Now Matthews! Olbermann, Schieffer,
On Broder, on Stephanopoulous, on Lehrer, on Blitzer."
Valentine's Day is close but we all have our jobs.
So, "On Stewart, Colbert, O'Reilly and Dobbs,As some candidates do when caught in a lie,
Climb up on their pedestal, high in the sky.
So up to the house-top the entourage flew,
With a sack full of earmarks and promises too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pandering of each little hoof.As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney the next President came with a bound.
His eyes, how they twinkled! His dimples how merry!
Tancredo he was not; he just wasn't scary!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow.First I thought Biden and then I thought Dodd.
But it was all make-up, so white hair wasn't odd.
That's it! Actor's make-up removed all the doubt;
So lively and quick, so Fred Thompson was out.
The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.That ruled out Obama, unless he was joking
When he promised us all that he had stopped smoking.
But a wink of his eye and a shake of his head
Let me know I was wrong without a word said.
As he filled each stocking with an American flag.
I thought, "Isn't this sort of like Rudy in drag?"That's it. That's it. Think girls not boys!!!
Is Hillary the next President handing out toys?
Her smile let me know, my last guess was right,
As she sprang to the van, and bid me good night.
The press on their bus, as they drove out of sight,
called back "Happy Primary to all, and to all a good night!"