Just in case you hadn't heard, the minutes are ticking down fast on your last chance for fame and fortune. Seriously! Well, ok, maybe not so seriously. But really and truly, this may be your last chance at fame and fortune for THIS November, anyway! Turns out you've got two shots at it.First, there's National Novel Writing Month (aka, "NaNoWriMo"), the goal of which is to start on November 1 and then, writing like a maniac, finish "a 175-page (50,000-word) novel by midnight, November 30." No problem, eh? Hey, I probably write 50,000 words of drivel every month - well, at least 5,000 - so why couldn't I turn Virginia politics into a novel? Right, because it would be the worst novel in human history, check! :) Anyway, it's actually too late for this contest, unless you can convince the people running it to let you in now, and then write 50,000 words in the next 5 days. No problem! I mean, hey, it's only 10,000 words a day (417 words an hour, 7 words a minute, 1 word every 9 seconds or so). Of course, that assumes you pull 5 straight all-nighters. Better get cracking!
OK, so you're not interested in speed novel writing, huh? Well then, how about the National Solo Album Month (aka, "NaSoAlMo") contest? For this one, all you have to do is write and record an entire solo album, at least 29:09 long (the length of the first Ramones album) by November 30. According to the NoSoAlMo website, "It doesn't have to be professional-anything; the point is the fun of making it." Unfortunately, it looks like you missed THAT deadline (the end of October) too. Bummer. But who knows, maybe you can convince the solo album people to let you in, then write and record the thing in the next 5 days. No problem! And here's an idea: how about an album entitled, "I Trust the People," with the words of Jerry Kilgore ("Always have, always will"), George Allen ("let's enjoy knocking their soft teeth down their whining throats"), and other Virginia Republicans ("anything with a pulse") set to music? That could be extremely entertaining, dontcha think?
Right, I didn't think so. But at least it beats fighting the crowds at Best Buy or WalMart!
P.S. Yeah, yeah, I realize this has nothing to do with Virginia politics, but who's thinking about politics now? Except for Virginia Centrist, Alice Marshall, and Not Larry Sabato, that is! Ha ha.