My fellow Americans. When I first took over as your leader president, I promised to govern this mighty company country as I had been taught in business school, as a corporate CEO. And so it is with some sadness that I report tonight that, due to outside circumstances beyond our control, our company country has been forced into Chapter 11 reorganization.
My fellow shareholders citizens. Tonight I propose a plan to reorganize the United States, Inc. To begin with, we will spin-off two of our operating units states to independent companies countries. The funds generated by the sale of these two units states will be used to reimburse our top stockholders cut taxes on the top 10 percent of income earners. California and Massachusetts will become independent, As such, they will lose their four seats on the board of directors senate seats, which will then revert to Republican control.
In addition, I have arranged a one-time sale of surplus military bases and equipment to Blackwater, Inc, netting an additional 1 Million dollars to our treasury. In addition, since there will no longer be any equipment for our soldiers and sailors to use, the military will immediately be reduced by 75%. This saving will, however, be offset by our new no-bid corporate national security contracts with Haliburton, Carlyle Group, and Blackwater.
In addition, my fellow shareholders citizens, I have arranged a one-time-only clearance sale of some of our under utilized inventory. At noon tomorrow, Secretary Rice will begin accepting sealed bids for The Statue of Liberty, The Golden Gate Bridge, and Washington, D.C. As a cost saving measure, I have decided to move the Nation's Capitol to the Florida Everglades, which will be drained to make way for the new facilities. My brother Jeb will oversee the construction project.
I am certain that the newly reconstituted Board Senate will act quickly to ratify my reorganization plan. Thank you.