ANDY ROONEY: I know all about Babe Ruth and Lou Gehrig, but today's baseball stars are all guys named Rodriguez to me. They're apparently very good but they haven't caught my interest.
TRANSLATION: Why would I want to watch a bunch of wetbacks circle the bases like they're trying to outrun INS agents?
ANDY ROONEY: It seems like a major mystery that baseball has never caught on in other countries the way it has here.
TRANSLATION: Isn't this 1945? Aren't people in Japan and the Dominican Republic are still living in rice paddies and climbing banana trees? Where's Bing Crosby, he was supposed to meet me for lunch 15 minutes ago!